he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
