: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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