sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize