Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Randomize
