Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
