wrigley field is MILF paradise
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
