Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
