Your tits are I can't wait for
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
