i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize