What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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