So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
