dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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