a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
