dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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