You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Randomize
