a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
