He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
