If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
