return my video game
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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