last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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