Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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