You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
