I cut my penus on the lid.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
