they need to just BURY HIM!
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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