He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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