Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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