just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
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