Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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