I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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