Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Im part way to drunk.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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