she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
