its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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