We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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