can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize