Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
