every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
handjob tips. give me some.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
