I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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