How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
