i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
love makes seman taste better
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
