you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
