i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
