He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
