Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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