Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
