Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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