I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
