You made me cry and you don't even care
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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