On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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