It's Friday. Sex?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
