Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
