I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
