We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
