I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
