you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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