I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
