I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
My vagina is officially offended.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
