Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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