you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
