I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize