I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
