Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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