WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
