Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize