I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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