You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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